Simplicity is bliss

Horrible. I am so horrible.

So bad. arrgghh.. messed up everything. All started coz of this one mistake which I didn't clear up. Argh!

Now it got worst and I have to keep lying.

I told my boss about my quitting of job on Mon. She asked if I didn't get into uni, what is my next move?

So I told her I will still further my studies. Somemore, I was going on holiday so won't be working anymore after 1st June and my last day will be End May. No matter what, I will end my work End May.

Some weeks back, I was indeed planning to go taiwan/ vietnam for holiday for the 1st week den will be going to M'sia for camp. So, when my boss told the HR that I'll be going for taiwan for 2 weeks during June already and won't be working anymore, I didn't correct her or anything. Coz I was really going for holiday and planning to go taiwan/ vietnam. So i tot, hmm... anyway i will be going on holiday so didn't care much since I am leaving.

When she said I am going to Taiwan for 2 weeks, I just smiled and nodded.

On Tues, she asked me seriously in the pantry in front of so many people, ' Are you really going to study or have you found another job, tell me honestly.'

I really got stunned. It didn't occur to me that she will post such a question to me. I thought just say I am going on holiday and furthering my studies and that's it. Don't need to give so many reasons and the details for not wanting to work anymore.

So i tell her,' of coz i am going to study.' then, smile at her and continue to have my lunch.

Then, she kept asking me alot of things. I am just starting to have my lunch and she's saying all these and questioning me, making me so stressed up. I was already very stressed up these few months all because they keep asking me when I will get the posting results... I got the letter from Uni already... really fed up.

Now, she said all these. Ask me who am I going with to Taiwan, going to which part, go with tour or free & easy.

I thought it's something personal, and I don't have to say out but it's kinda rude not telling them when they asked you about it.

So, from this small mistake which I never thought of correcting (coz it's juz a holiday, i will be leaving and i am really going on holiday), it became a BIG BIG LIE.

And I have to lie to them. And it's really a stupid lie. And today, they asked me questions again. I really... haiz... really don't know how to continue.. don't know what to say. It's really stupid. I almost got exposed. I think if they ask me again, I really don't know how. I just wish I had correct the mistake in the first place.

Many times, I wanted to just tell them the truth and said that actually I am only just intending to go and haven't book the trip yet, but I fear the consequences.

It's not a good feeling to lie. You really have to live in the fear of being exposed and being questioned. I think as day goes by, my lie will really be exposed.


I'm so sorry... I didn't mean it... Just that I don't know what to do anymore. You all keep asking and asking.... I hope I can just cry out to tell you all that I hate this job and want to leave here asap. I couldn't. I don't want to hurt you all and upset you all... I also don't want to make my stay for that 1 month before I leave to be a period of suffering, torture.

I just want to be like everyone else, tender the letter and leave quietly. I want everything to be low profile, why can't you all just let me leave in peace. I am really going to further my studies and going for holiday. Why you all just can't let me off and want me to stay????

I don't want to lie abt the trip to taiwan. I am just onli going to m'sia. haiz... it's just a stupid, silly mistake from the beginning.....................................

Now, it seemed like i have to continue with it. What else can I do?? Help me........

posted by soda-pop @ 9:11 pm