Handed in the resignation letter today. the feeling is not so good.
I wanted to hand it to my boss during the start of the work, but I couldn't bring myself to. I wasn't thinking much about what she will ask me then, just can't bear to tell her, 'This is my resignation letter, sorry.'
Somehow find it quite cruel to do it. Arrrhh....
Actually, to really go and think about it, I learned alot from this job. Suddenly felt like I know most of the things by now, not like the time when I first came in to work. The feeling is different. haha... seemed like an "old bird" in the job.
But still, I want to go.
Hm.. these few days, my boss have been treating me very strangely and I don't like the feeling. She knows that I didn't want to stay on to work anymore, and these few days, she didn't really pressure me to issue the orders or anything.
She just say,'Don't stress, just do whatever you can.' or things like
'it's ok, you do that one first then slowly issue this, no hurry.'
'ok.. this one I do, you can continue with the rest of your work.'
Hm... don't like this feeling of being so carefree, it somehow means to me in another way that I've become useless and incapable already. Hm... lack of work makes me feel insecure. That's me. I think i'm crazy. ha!
OoOO.... Let's blog what I did last Sat and Sun
Saturday
Sunshine outing to ECP to cycle!
it was fun, though sometimes we are too indecisive but overall, the outing was good!
the sun is so bright.
Haha... one very funny thing happened. ok.. I was being mischievous but didn't expect the rest to play along. ahaha...
I saw something on mq's shirt and suddenly, I sounded quite stunned,'eee... mq, there's something on your shirt!'
Then, mq say,'wad??? wad????'
Sj saw that thing.. and started to help her to "kill" the thing on her shirt. She hit hard. Really hard for a few times.
I think it scared mq, she jumped about hoping the thing will drop on the floor and ask sj not to hit so hard coz later will leave on her shirt or something.
But in the end, everyone decided to tell her the truth. haha.. Everyone burst into laughter. hahahaha.... See what it is... here... hahaha.... a big ant on her shirt and she don't know about it.
Building our sand castle... haha... just faking.
My brother want to sell this mp3. It's BRAND NEW.
Yeah.
Samsung brand. It's 4GB. Model is YP-T10.
It's selling at S$229.00.
Anyone interested??
Please buy from my brother......... hahaha... thnx thnx...
Horrible. I am so horrible.
So bad. arrgghh.. messed up everything. All started coz of this one mistake which I didn't clear up. Argh!
Now it got worst and I have to keep lying.
I told my boss about my quitting of job on Mon. She asked if I didn't get into uni, what is my next move?
So I told her I will still further my studies. Somemore, I was going on holiday so won't be working anymore after 1st June and my last day will be End May. No matter what, I will end my work End May.
Some weeks back, I was indeed planning to go taiwan/ vietnam for holiday for the 1st week den will be going to M'sia for camp. So, when my boss told the HR that I'll be going for taiwan for 2 weeks during June already and won't be working anymore, I didn't correct her or anything. Coz I was really going for holiday and planning to go taiwan/ vietnam. So i tot, hmm... anyway i will be going on holiday so didn't care much since I am leaving.
When she said I am going to Taiwan for 2 weeks, I just smiled and nodded.
On Tues, she asked me seriously in the pantry in front of so many people, ' Are you really going to study or have you found another job, tell me honestly.'
I really got stunned. It didn't occur to me that she will post such a question to me. I thought just say I am going on holiday and furthering my studies and that's it. Don't need to give so many reasons and the details for not wanting to work anymore.
So i tell her,' of coz i am going to study.' then, smile at her and continue to have my lunch.
Then, she kept asking me alot of things. I am just starting to have my lunch and she's saying all these and questioning me, making me so stressed up. I was already very stressed up these few months all because they keep asking me when I will get the posting results... I got the letter from Uni already... really fed up.
Now, she said all these. Ask me who am I going with to Taiwan, going to which part, go with tour or free & easy.
I thought it's something personal, and I don't have to say out but it's kinda rude not telling them when they asked you about it.
So, from this small mistake which I never thought of correcting (coz it's juz a holiday, i will be leaving and i am really going on holiday), it became a
BIG BIG LIE. And I have to lie to them. And it's really a stupid lie. And today, they asked me questions again. I really... haiz... really don't know how to continue.. don't know what to say. It's really stupid. I almost got exposed. I think if they ask me again, I really don't know how. I just wish I had correct the mistake in the first place.
Many times, I wanted to just tell them the truth and said that actually I am only just intending to go and haven't book the trip yet, but I fear the consequences.
It's not a good feeling to lie. You really have to live in the fear of being exposed and being questioned. I think as day goes by, my lie will really be exposed.
I'm so sorry... I didn't mean it... Just that I don't know what to do anymore. You all keep asking and asking.... I hope I can just cry out to tell you all that I hate this job and want to leave here asap. I couldn't. I don't want to hurt you all and upset you all... I also don't want to make my stay for that 1 month before I leave to be a period of suffering, torture.
I just want to be like everyone else, tender the letter and leave quietly. I want everything to be low profile, why can't you all just let me leave in peace. I am really going to further my studies and going for holiday. Why you all just can't let me off and want me to stay????
I don't want to lie abt the trip to taiwan. I am just onli going to m'sia. haiz... it's just a stupid, silly mistake from the beginning.....................................
Now, it seemed like i have to continue with it. What else can I do?? Help me........
Birthday celebration for maine n me in cell grp.
Yummy yummy!! Delicious jelly hearts.. Rach went all the way to Farrer Park there to buy. It's really a pity yw couldn't join us.
See the layer of cookies, marshmellows and jelly... very tempting huh??? Drooling**
Everyone can't wait for the cake? jelly? tarts? to be cut and distribute out. hahha...
Haha... us...
Sunday was a birthday celebration with my poly sisters. (",)
yup... we went to Corduroy Cafe at Vivo.
We have fun taking photos at the cafe and outside the cafe.
the girl who is full of expressions - JM
I guess we've taken so many crazy pictures, most of the people at the viewing area keep looking down at us. haha...
After which, I went to meet up with wei.. so long didn't see her too. And she remembered my bday. Got a bit of surprised when she wanted to meet me to give me present.
Well, didn't really talk much on Sun when we met coz I was already too tired to talk. Have been out the whole day from morning to night.
Wanted to take photos with her but she say she too ruggard, didn't want to take. hm... Must take next time when we go out!!!
Sorry wei. We'll meet again. All of us including jm, jess n lingz. haha..
Got alot of surprises today!!
haha.. my first bday gift from my beloved mum. haha.. my favourites.. haha.. tidbits..
And I got a guitar of my very own from my Brother!! Cool!! never thought he will buy it for me, and it never occurred to me that I want a guitar. haha... *overjoyed*
My first owned guitar! Woo Hoo~~~~
haha.. feel so so so so super duper blessed, loved and happy!!
In the Office
The moment I step into office. Guess wad?!!
'Gee Wee, your friends give you one,' said the receptionist and she handed me a bouquet of flowers.
Wah, I was already blushing liao. haha.. It's flowers from my SUNSHINE!! I thought they are all busy preparing for exams. Little did I know that they make the effort to trick me in telling them my company name and they even called my office up to ask the receptionist for the address.
Pink Roses from SunShines
Then, around noon time around 1150am -12pm. Guess who and what!!??
Cute Xiao Min and her bf came to the office!!! * Mouth drop, jaws opened*
Oh.... shocked shocked and really shocked. They actually came to the office to send me flowers.
ahh... I was going crazy that moment. Then ask them wad they are doing?? Blushing like mad la... Suddenly, the whole office know it's my bday. Oh, it's really very sweet of them to come all the way from NUS to my office and drive me for lunch. haha..
Flowers from Jm n Terry, Lingz n Jess. Red gerbera daisies
Never think that will happen to me, thought it will only appear in some drama shows. haha. I thought this year's bday, I'll keep it low profile, go to work as per normal and without much disturbances. Just quietly work and celebrate my bday at home.
Who knows, it's such a big 'Ho Ha'..
The story continues....
It don't stop here. After lunch time, some of my aunties and uncles colleagues keep saying my boss no good, never give my present. Then, they say the flowers so nice, ask me don't hide the flowers. haha.. I am so shy la... so muz hide dun let ppl know and see. arrhh... so embarrassed.
They called my boss up and sort of scolded her for not getting me a present. Because it so happened that she went on leave today. So some of them bought muffins to replace bday cake and celebrate for me at the pantry.
Really sweet of them.
Wa.. it's really a scare everytime the receptionist ask me to go in front to the reception area.
Then, around 4 plus, a colleague whom I'm helping gave me a watch.
It's an expensive watch from DKNY.
And before knocking off, another flower from my boss came.
Sunflowersssss....
Well, it's really ok for not doing anything today. I juz want today to be a normal day. I like it simple. It's nice to have a memorable birthday like today's.
Like what maine said, I got the chance to say this, 'today is really a very exciting day.'
haha....
Last week was an "enjoyable" day at work.
My boss was outstationed to Shanghai last week. Well, I am supposed to be happy. Actually, I was very happy the first day of work when she's not around. But happy moments don't last. haha... maybe I'm not used to this enjoyment.
I thought it will be good if no one will be there to ask me to do this, do that... send this and that.....
Well, I can have a peace of mind and do my work. But, after finishing doing whatever I needed to do, there's no work left. And I am lost. Don't know what to do and just trying to find things to do at work. Pretending to be doing something and when I have nothing to do. It's really very bored and I felt quite annoyed. haha.... Maybe I am a person who cannot rest too much, must work and work... haha... "jian ming" haha...
And it's not only for 1 day. I am so free for like 5 days! Imagine nothing much to do for 5 days. Wa.... it's such a dread to go work without nothing to do.
Don't know what do I want sometimes.
Met up with a long time fren, Belle. It's been years since I last met her, 3 years? yah. She changed so much. We have a good chat though. I thought I will have nothing much to talk to her about, but it's great we met up. (^-^)
Slowly, people in the company are leaving for better work place. We had a mini farewell dinner for a colleague who is leaving the company. I was quite shocked to see that I'm actually not the only one who is unsatisfied, feel wronged and disappointed with this company.
So this mini gathering became sort of a "complaint" session for us. It's quite nice to know people who are on the same boat as you, at least you are not alone. At least, there are people who could encourage you and spur you on. Yup, at least there are this kind of people there. At least my God knows how sad I am in this place and placed people there to help me.
Today is April Fool's Day!
Wonder why have such a Day on such a day. haha... chim... It's kinda funny though that people came up with this April Fool's Day and "celebrate" it. haha... coz it's not a very big event... not so "hu ha" event. Interesting day to be remembered. haha
Somehow almost got tricked by one of my colleagues. Because me and another colleague were talking about quitting the job soon a few weeks back. Then somehow, the boss of this colleague "K" came to me and tell me that he just received the tender from "K" and ask me to persuade her to stay.
At that moment, I got shocked. It's like.. how come he knows "K" got tell me or something... coz he could tell someone else about "K's" leaving. So I msn "K"... she say ya... she tender already.
But it's kinda fishy, coz why of all time choose today and it's April Fool's Day. hmm....
So Iasked if she bluff me. She say that she's really qutting liao. Then she came over to shake my hand and bid goodbye.
I was really stunned at that instant. I didn't expect it to be so fast.
But I still feel it's weird, so decided to wait till tomorrow, if she didn't come to work tml, it would mean what they said are true.
Haha.. true enough, "K's" boss came and told me that he's actually bluffing me.. haha...
then I say, ' ya.. I know.'
He replied, 'No wonder you so calm...'
hahaha... later then I found out that "K" also don't know he came to tell me about her tender until I msn her. And he came to ask "K" if I looked for her and asked her anything. "K" say no... coz she don't know what he's referring to... so.. in the end, it's "K's" boss who somehow got himself into all the troubles. hahaha....
Another one is Rach. haha.. so funny... so say Aaron sms her and tell her I am going to do ice-breaker for the pre-camp. haha... But it's such a coincidence that Aaron happened to sms me tat morning to ask me for my email. haha... so the plot was exposed. hahahaha.......
And the next one is Jm... haiz... she also another cute one. Using another friend's email whom I know to msn me. haha...
It's a happy day today! My boss not around until next Monday! She's out on Business trip.
